PLAY BALL (Nicely)

Ahhhh yes, the smell of freshly cut grass and warm High Life can only mean one thing; the beloved Adworkers softball season has started. So I just wanted to take a few minutes to toss out a couple of helpful reminders to make this another fun and safe season.

BE NICE

It’s a rec league. If somebody gets a bad call, so what? Bad calls have a way of evening themselves out. Chances are your team will get a favorable wrong call at some point. Relax. And remember that it’s a small town and you don’t want to show up on your first day at the new job and overhear someone say “Oh yeah, I know that guy from softball. He’s a dick.”

USE BASE COACHES

It can save some time on debating a call between a group of people who were half watching. When it’s all said and done the base coach gets the final call and that’s that. I know no one wants to go hang out at third by themselves but it really comes in handy. Bring a beer.

SLIDE OR STAY

You MUST slide at home if it’s a close play. But having spent many summers with scabbed legs that look more like tree bark than shins, I know the feeling of hesitation you get as you’re rounding third and heading for the gravel pile that is home plate. So if you’re not gonna slide then just stay put. Even if the next batter doesn’t hit you in, you’ll at least be able to wear shorts for the rest of the summer.

GUYS: CHILL

We all know that coach shouldn’t have benched you in the state championship, but don’t take out your frustration on the Adworkers diamond. Yes, you’re totally supposed to plow someone over if they’re in the baseline or blocking home plate, but 9 times out of 10 that person doesn’t know the inner dynamics of baseball and is not ready to get clocked. So remember that regular baseball smarts do not always apply to a friendly rec league game. Save that for your Thursday bar league versus The Dirty Sanchez’s.

LADIES: PLAY

Please show up. I promise that no one cares how good or bad you are. We all just wanna play and not have to forfeit or call our second cousin frantically at 5:16 begging them to play. I have a glove you can borrow.

NO DRINKING

We all know that’s not gonna happen so at least be fairly discreet with your beverages. I’m pretty sure we’re still not technically allowed to have them at the parks. And if you see the mounted cop at Kern, just fucking run.

If we all stick to these quick little guidelines I think we’ll have yet another great year playing, drinking, and finding out how out of shape we’re all getting. And please feel free to leave a comment on anything else I missed.

Cheers,

Brian Stefanik